


Birds (falling down the rooftop)

by Arithese



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Bruce tries, C-PTSD, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Social Anxiety, Talia is a horrible mother, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 19:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17730851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arithese/pseuds/Arithese
Summary: It had been weeks since Bruce returned from the 'dead', and Bruce takes Damian with him to a gala. After ignoring Damian's complaints, he realises too late the panic attack that it causes his youngest son.





	Birds (falling down the rooftop)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest sent by the Netherlands; Birds.

 

January 18th, 2019. 18:36

_Weeks after Bruce's return from the 'death'._

"I really do not see the purpose of going to this event." Damian scowled, and Bruce watches his son with an almost stoic expression. He had changed so much, and yet, not as much as he'd hoped.

"Not everything about our lives is fun Damian, I don't like these events either." Bruce comments, adjusting the tie around his neck with a slight tug. Damian scrunches up his nose slightly, and Bruce watches it with an amused look on his face from the mirror.

Dick had told him it was a habit from Damian that he developed ever since he came to Gotham, but Bruce never got enough of seeing it, and he wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it himself probably. It was such a difference from the violent and aggressive boy he met now almost a year ago.

Granted, he hadn't been there for most of the year.

Damian had changed a lot in the 6 months he was away. He was more quiet, but not necessarily a bad kind of quiet. He was less harsh and he actually allowed people to touch him without immediately threatening them to kill them… well actually he pretty much only allowed Dick to.

And yet, despite the progressions he has made, he was still what Talia made him to be. Bruce could see it in the way he moved, the way he fought, the weapons he constantly had in arm's reach in case something happened, and the snarky comments thrown at everyone that seemingly threatened him.

"Father, I do not want to go." Damian said with a firm voice, and Bruce sighed.

"You have to Damian, okay? We have to keep up appearances. It's just a few hours." Bruce said, turning around to watch his youngest. Damian's face shifted, and Bruce knew that Dick would've understood what it meant. Not only did Dick have 6 months over him with Damian, but Dick had always been good at reading people.

Damian nods silently, and Bruce smiles faintly.

"Are you almost ready Master Bruce?" Alfred asks, the door now fully open.

"We are, have the guests arrived yet?" Bruce asks and Alfred nods.

"They are already downstairs waiting for you, including Master Dick and Miss Gordon." Alfred mentions, and Damian perks up slightly at the mention of his older brother. Grayson had moved out of the manor now Bruce had come back, and Damian would never admit it out loud.

But he missed his older brother in the manor.

Bruce glances at Damian, the reaction not going unnoticed. But he ignored it for now, putting on a smile.

"Then we should get going." He said, and Alfred nods. It was Bruce's first party ever since he came back, and it would also be the first public appearance Bruce would make with his son, his only biological son that is. Damian had come so sudden, so unexpected back in April of last year.

Bruce had known Talia to be pregnant, but she had told him she had miscarried.

He had thrown himself into work at the knowledge that he'd had a son that was 10 years already, and a son that Talia never told him about. Not to mention that Damian didn't even legally exist yet so they had to fabricate a story to make sure that Damian existed in the eyes of the law.

They had done it before, Jason had died as well, and had come back to life again. Not immediately of course, as it had taken a while before he was 'civil' enough to be declared alive again Tim and Barbara had incorporated the abduction of the Joker into the story as well for convenience.

Or maybe to keep the cover story, as Jason had changed massively since he came back. Torture and kidnapping was something that could account for that.

Bottom line, he hadn't focused on that story at all, and busied himself with being Batman and finding answers from Talia. And before he could finish that story, and legally make Damian his, and before he could present Damian to the world and announce him to be his biological son…

.. he died, or that's what the world had thought.

This would be the first time they would be seen together in public, officially.

So Bruce took one last glance at Damian before he followed Alfred out of the room, Damian following him closely. He put on a big, fake, smile the moment he entered the room with all the guests, shaking everyone's hand and politely kissing the hands of the ladies. They all chatted with each other.

Some making small talk, and some talking about more serious subjects. His disappearance, and whatever story had been fabricated around it, some talking about the future of the company. Bruce answered all of them without much problems, the playboy billionaire persona a second nature to him.

He didn't mind the people crowding around him, brushing past him to get somewhere else, or coming up to talk to him. He just pretended to be someone else right now, answering the questions the way a billionaire would.

Some asked about his son. Women cooing when they saw Damian, attempting to pinch his cheeks and smiling at him.

"What a cutie." One woman, Sally if Bruce remembered correctly, exclaims with a bright smile on her face. Damian scowls slightly, but didn't slap away the hand like Bruce had thought he would, merely ducked out the way. For which Bruce was glad to say the least.

If this had been done before his death, Bruce was sure Damian would've attacked the woman for 'daring to touch him'. But Damian didn't, staying silent at Bruce's side. He had only briefly seen Grayson, but he had excused himself a few minutes in to go somewhere with Barbara.

Despite Dick's social tendencies… and dependencies, he clearly disliked these types of galas as well. Which is why he rarely went to them, and why he had never taken Damian with him.

Sally chuckles at his antics, standing up straight again to glance at Bruce instead.

"He looks just like you Bruce, except for his skin." Sally mentions, and Bruce can feel his stomach turn ever so slightly. There wasn't a hint of malice in her voice, Sally wasn't the brightest woman but she was a darling, could never heard a fly, but he had heard it way too often in the last few weeks already.

And he had read all the articles people had written about Damian, and most importantly, his race.

"His mother is from the Middle East." Bruce answers and Sally nods.

"You can tell, he looks lovely." Sally smiled, and Bruce can feel Damian press a little closer to him, and he frowns slightly but didn't comment on it. He continued the conversation, luckily talking about something else. He just talked about whatever Sally had come up with, mindlessly going along with it.

He could feel Damian reach for him slowly, fisting a piece of his suit.

_Alfred will be disappointed that the suit is crumbled_  Bruce thought to himself, but didn't pay attention to it at the moment. He flashed another smile, but Sally suddenly stopped.

"Is he alright?" She asks softly, looking down at Damian. Bruce immediately whirls his head down at his son. The usually tanned olive skin, what they were just talking about moments ago, was flushed, as if he had seen a ghost. There was a thin layer of sweat lingering on his forehead and tears were running down his cheeks.

It was then that Bruce noticed how Damian was shaking against him. Bruce reached for Damian's wrist, feeling his heartbeat thrum under his fingers. Fast.. too fast.

"Damian?" Bruce asks, fully turning towards his son, Sally long forgotten. Damian gasps, eyes going in and out of focus before they painfully settled on Bruce's.  _Panic_. "Damian is this a panic attack?" Another tear slipped from his eye, but Damian doesn't move, doesn't confirm what Bruce needed to know right now.

"What can I do?" Sally asks, panic clear in her voice. Bruce shakes his head, unsure as well. He carefully reached out, putting a hand on Damian's shoulder. The smaller boy whimpers, ducking to the ground and putting his arms around his head, making himself as small as possible.

His mother would've been so disappointed but all he could he could focus on was the roar of everyone around him, his racing heart that send blood pounding through his head. He hurt, his chest hurt, his head throbbed and his legs trembled beneath him but it was as if they had locked up.

"Everyone out, now!" Bruce shouted, crouching besides Damian. "Damian I need you to tell me what you need, I won't touch you." Bruce tried again.

"Grayson." Damian all but whimpered, and Bruce barely understood it with how soft he uttered it. But he kept repeating it, as if it was a mantra that kept him grounded right now.

"Get Richard in here." Bruce shouted to the few people that remained in the room, and two immediately ran off.

"What is wrong with him?" One man asks softly, but Bruce shook his head.

"I don't know, please give us some space." Bruce ordered, turning back to his son. He didn't  _know_  what to do right now. He didn't know how to fix this. He knew what a panic attack was, and how to respond to it when any of his other children had them. And they had had them in the past for sure.

Dick craved for physical contact, so that's what calmed him down the most. A hug, cuddling, just anything that got Dick into contact with his family. Jason wanted to feel safe but in control. Bruce used to drape a blanket around his shoulders and sit in front of him, massaging his hands so he had something to focus on.

Jason didn't like anything happening behind him when he had a panic attack, because he couldn't see what was going on behind him. Tim was a little more difficult, but he was a mix between Jason and Dick. He wanted to feel safe, he needed that reassurance, but he needed more, he needed words to focus himself on, as well as the physical contact.

Cassandra needed to see  _someone_  she trusted. Similar to Jason, she needed something to only be going on in front of her so she could see it. She would be calmed down by watching people's emotions and copying it. Dick was the one that was able to help Cass the most, as his smile was genuine.

But Damian? He had no idea, and he really didn't want to risk getting attacked when he tried anything.

"Dami!" A voice suddenly yelled, and Bruce snapped up to see Dick run over to him. There was no doubt in his voice or eyes, and Dick sank to the ground the moment he reached Damian. Bruce could see Dick take a deep, calming breath. "Hey, hey. Damian." He spoke, suddenly very calm.

"Little D, can you look at me?" Dick asks softly, and Damian shakes his head, gasping again. "Okay tell me what you need." Dick continued.

"Breathe." Damian gasped out, another tear trailing down his face. Dick gently reached out for Damian's face, pushing one hand away from it and brushing the tear away with his thumb. Bruce almost expected Damian to flinch, but green eyes just fluttered open to look at Dick.

"You're having a panic attack. Bruce sent everyone away, it's just us three right now." Dick softly explains, grasping Damian's hand before taking the other one as well. "Can you breathe with me? In, and out, in, and out." Dick continued, breathing along with his commands.

Damian gasped again, trying to follow Dick's pattern of breathing but it wasn't working.

Dick didn't seem surprised, shifting slightly but still a determined, and yet calm, expression on his face.

"When I was 7 years old my parents took me to a zoo, I don't remember which one it was, because I was so young, but I remember going. It was just the three of us that day, and I was really happy." Dick suddenly started, and Bruce recognised that story, it wasn't a big secret, or a memory that held a lot of emotional baggage.

Damian's green eyes struggled to focus on Dick, but they eventually did. And neither of them broke that contact.

"I remember going straight for the giant pandas. I had seen lions before up close, I had played with Zitka before so I wasn't interested in them. But I had always wanted to see a giant panda. They were super big, but they weren't doing much during the day-"

"Like Drake." Damian whispered, and Dick grinned brightly.

"Exactly, only at least the giant pandas remembered to eat. It's all they do. I remember standing there in front of the glass, and it was still early so there weren't a lot of people. The panda was just eating, and when we got back again after-" Dick just continued talking without stopping.

He talked about all the animals he'd met at the zoo, what he ate, that his parents bought him a stuffed animal.. and Damian started to lean into Dick's chest the more he told. His breathing evened out as minutes passed, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and eventually 15 when Damian slumped against Dick.

The former Robin immediately released Damian's hands, instead opting to wrap them around the current Robin.

"You're okay little D." Dick murmured, kissing Damian's hair. "You're okay."

*

*

*

January 18th, 2019. 22:31

"He's sleeping." Dick comments softly as he walks out of Damian's room. Bruce doesn't react verbally, keeping his gaze on the window in front of him. The sky was clear of any clouds, and the moon almost hurt his eyes but he kept his gaze focused on it, not feeling like moving.

Dick sighs, walking over to his adopted father and standing next to him. Bruce was still in his suit, the one he had worn during the party. Dick had long taken off the suit, now wearing a pair of sweatpants and a loose hoodie that was already a few years too old.

"Dinah once told me she thinks he had C-PTSD." Dick comments softly, and Bruce glances at him.

"She thinks?" He asks, and Dick nods.

"She talked to him once, but Damian never agreed to a real session with her, so she isn't sure." Dick shrugs, turning to the left to look at Bruce. "She's also pretty sure he has at least some form of social anxiety."

"The panic attack?" Bruce asks, and Dick shrugs.

"Too many people." Dick offers, and Bruce frowns again, turning away.

"Why didn't he say anything?" Bruce mutters under his breath, but Dick still caught it. Dick frowns slightly at that.

"He did Bruce, you didn't listen." Dick says softly. Bruce opens his mouth to protest but snapped his mouth shut when he remembered.

_Father, I do not want to go._ That's what Damian had said before the party. He had dropped hints that he didn't want to go long before they actually went. Bruce had known that Damian didn't want to go, it wasn't that hard to figure out after all the complaints he had gotten over the course of the entire day.

But he just thought Damian was being… bratty.

"Then why didn't he say why?" Bruce asks, and he was once again confronted by the fact that he didn't know his son at all. That he had been gone for too long, and that Dick was more of a father to Bruce than he was right now, or maybe could ever be.

"You really expect him to?" Dick shoots back, but there was no venom behind his voice. "Bruce he opened up a lot, but he was still raised by the League, I'm surprised he even told you he didn't  _want_  to go." Dick continues.

"He only told me he didn't want to go." Bruce points out, and Dick sighs. "I just don't want my child to be angry at me Dick. I just don't know-"

"Bruce he's not mad at you as much as he's angry at himself." Dick cuts Bruce off. "Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if he was even mad at me right now."

"Why would he be angry at you?" Bruce asks with a frown. Dick sighs.

"Culture is difficult to learn unless you're born into it. You remember how I adjusted to such a domestic setting. I was raised in a circus." Dick points out. "Damian was raised in a different country, continent even, he was raised with different rules, different expectations and different authority figures. He doesn't  _know_  how to act."

"You didn't teach him?" There was nothing but genuine curiosity in his voice. Dick shakes his head again.

"How would I Bruce?" Dick asks. "He never told me anything when we went on patrol. I caught him once almost falling of the roof when he had a high fever. He told me that he could continue, because that was what's expected of him in the League. What he wanted didn't matter."

Bruce stayed silent, not wanting to think about the fact that Damian couldn't have been her anymore now that he had returned. His  _son_  could've fallen off the roof while he wasn't even there.

"I told him he was allowed to say when he was feeling bad, or he didn't want to do something for any reason." Dick says. "Anyone would understand that, I understood, Tim and Jason also did. When we were sick we told you, most of the time. When we didn't want to go on patrol you allowed us to take the day off."

Dick stops for a moment, glancing at Bruce again.

"But how do I explain to him when he can, and when he can't? I told him he can tell me whenever he doesn't want to go, but tonight he had to go with you, even if he told you he didn't want to."

"These events-" Bruce starts.

"I know Bruce, I know they are. It's important to keep up our civilian lives. I get that. But Damian doesn't. He doesn't understand why you didn't listen to him when I told him he could say when he doesn't want to do something. He's hurt, angry at you for forcing him and angry at me for lying."

Dick took a deep breath again, glancing back at Damian's room for a quick second.

"And he's angry at himself because he feels lost. He's torn between two worlds Bruce. And I don't even know how to overcome that. But it's important to realise that. And not get angry at him for something he doesn't know."

"I'm really trying Dick." Bruce whispers, his chest hurting almost.

"Just remember that next time. He's trying as well. Try to listen to him, ask when you think he's hiding something but don't push him." Dick eventually shrugs. "You two need to figure out how to work with each other Bruce. Not just in costume. It's going to take time."

"How did you do it?" Bruce asks, and Dick grins.

"It took a lot of time, and I have the scars to prove it." The first Robin says. "He's worth it Bruce, don't give up on him."

"I won't." Bruce affirms and Dick grins even wider.

"Then go to his room and tell him that." He instructs, patting Bruce's shoulder. "Babs is waiting downstairs, see you tomorrow?" Dick asks and Bruce nods.

"Thanks for being here tonight, I don't know what I would-"

"Trial and error, Bruce. Remember that." Dick winked, before leaving Bruce alone. The older man sighs with an amused smile but followed Dick's command, walking back to Damian's room. He quietly opened the door, allowing a little bit of light into the room. He noticed the window uncovered, the moon providing enough light.

Damian was on the bed, covers drawn to just above his stomach and hands resting peacefully on top of them. It didn't even seem like he was sleeping, just… laying down with his eyes closed.

Bruce silently walked over to him, lingering at the bed for a moment before he grabbed a chair to sit on.

"I'm not giving up on you Damian, I promise." Bruce whispers, but Damian didn't react, chest rising and falling again. Bruce frowns slightly. He would need to speak about what Dick had just told him with Damian, maybe when things were a little bit better between him that is, but he couldn't just drop it.

C-PTSD and social anxiety. He couldn't just allow Damian to  _not_  go to Dinah and get properly evaluated… but he knew better than to pry immediately. He would ask Damian about it one day, and help his son the best he could before he was ready to talk to Dinah about this.

And perhaps everything that had happened to him.

"I love you Damian." Bruce whispered, leaning back into the chair. "I will do better, I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Soo it's done! Tell me what you think guys!


End file.
